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In three months I was nothing, just a thing for Hanna and her girlfriends.Hanna woke at 5am every morning, the first thing she did was slap my face to wake me! "Up!" From my first night as Hanna's pet I was hogtied over the seat of a dining room chair. My feet streched touching the back of my head, Hanna wrapped rope around my ankles, then ran it into my mouth I was gagged! My head being pulled by my legs and feet. My feet being pulled if I lifted my head.The pain was unbearable within half a minute! My head was being pulled off my body! My mouth being cut open. Drool ran down my throat! Hanna would then tie my arms from wrist to shoulders, each night the rope got higher and higher! Slowly my shouolders begain to meet. Even with the rope gag I knew she heard my screams and begging. All she ever did was smile her pure evil smile. After my arms were wrapped in hell, Hanna would push then under me. Not under and out of the way? She stuck my arms to the floor so that they were pushing me. I was filled with Michael, with anger, with despair. I was filled with loss. Michael’s death brought me to the second Great Unshakable Truth. I would never be loved like that again. Nobody could and nobody would. I never thought that thought but it was always with me. I’ve lived across the bridge for all these years and I’ve never come back until today. Ben thought I should and I know now that he was right. I’m living with Ben David, a structural engineer who’s brought calm to my life. The strange thing is that the calm comes in a year when I’m changing jobs and we’re moving to England for Ben’s work. It’s Wednesday and it makes me smile to remember how many times I’d heard Michael say ‘It’s Wednesday’. Wednesday was the day the Loews had a two for one special and we went no matter what was playing. Wednesday was the day I got my hand stuck in the jar. I was trying to get a handful of candy out of small mouthed jar and the more I tried the tighter it wedged. After a while I couldn’t.
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